Enduring periods of waiting

Because, let's face it, there's a lot of waiting when it comes to pursuing a creative path.

I have been trying to write this post for weeks. At this point, maybe even months.

There are at least a dozen false starts and half-formed ideas in my notes app of what I could say about the long stretches of waiting that often accompany creative pursuits.

But what I started to realize is that trusting the waiting process is still very new to me.

Sometimes I feel as though I’ve been waiting my whole life. I moved to Los Angeles at eighteen, signed with an agent right away, and then was met with . . . silence. I had maybe four auditions that first year—none of which I booked or was even called back for—and I switched representation two more times before I landed my first credit three years later.

I know I’m not alone in this. Many people who move here are met with resistance and road blocks, and in some way, the lack of opportunity is what pushed me to start writing for myself, but it was hard to trust the process when I wasn’t even getting in the room.

As my focus eventually switched from acting to writing, the waiting didn’t get easier. Being in the query trenches for three years and three books made me question my worth over and over again. When it was just me and my Word doc, I would feel inspired and hopeful, but the dread always came rushing back as soon as it was time to start querying.

What’s so difficult for me, and maybe it is for you too, is that there’s not much we can do while waiting.

So much of success, at least in the traditional sense of book deals or selling scripts or booking roles, is not up to us. Writing classes talk a lot about character agency, but when it comes to walking this creative path, we don’t have much control beyond the effort and time we spend on our work.

After doing years of healing and slowly coming in touch with my spirituality, I am starting to feel grounded in a deep inner knowing that my career is unfolding at the rate it is meant to. But there are still many days I return to compulsively refreshing my inbox, as if I might be able to will good news into existence.

I’m sharing all this because I know how lonely and isolating the waiting part can be, and if it’s something you’re struggling with too, I want to give you a few things that have helped me along the way:

#1: Zooming out to measure growth in longer stretches of time

When we’re waiting, it’s easy to feel like each day blends into the next, but growth is more tangible when looked at from a bird’s eye view. How different did your life look three months ago? A year? Two years? Five?

How much have you grown in that period of time? Have you built new connections or relationships you didn’t have before? Have new ideas come to you?

#2: Knowing things are in motion even when you’re not actively working on them

The energy and momentum you create around a project doesn’t just go away when you stop working on it (although it can certainly feel like that). 

I like to think Newton’s First Law—that objects in motion stay in motion—can maybe apply to more than just our physical world. The effort you exert on a project will continue to carry it forward, even beyond the active creation period.

#3: No matter what happens or how long it takes, you are inherently worthy

Your worth does not come from external “things.” It does not come from how productive you are. It does not come from how many books you’ve completed or put out into the world.

You are enough just as you are. And it’s also okay to want more.

Warmly,

Teresa

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